Mrs Snot Returns

Today we got a blast from the past at Food Place when a customer kicked off over some pears. The woman in question was formerly referred to as 'Mrs Snot' in this post about a previous incident relating to clementines. Maybe she just has some sort of obsession with going into shops and kicking up a fuss about fruit.

This time she launches her offensive with a phone call:

"Good afternoon Food Place, how can I help you?" came my cheery greeting.

"Yes, I was in your store earlier and purchased some pears which said 'buy two for two pounds' on the shelf. I haven't received this offer. Can you tell me why?"

I love you too...

"OK, I'd have to go and have a look at the shelf, but if you could just tell me which ones..."

She doesn't let me finish: "They're prepacked Conference pears, can you go and look now."

I'm perfectly capable of scheduling my own day, thank you very much, I will do what I want to do and when I want to. Try asking nicely in future. "I'm afraid I can't go this second because I'm in the cash office and can't leave at this time - if you'd like to leave your number, I can call you back in about ten minutes, would that be..."

"Well hurry up because I'm going to collect the children from school any minute. It's 556357." CLUNK!

Aghast at her extraordinary rudeness, I'm left to scrabble around to find a pen to jot the number down before it goes out of my head. It crosses my mind not bother returning her call and wait for her to phone Food Place again - I could just say I didn't catch the number before she slammed the phone down on me! But I'm not petty. I write the number down and duly set off to investigate as soon as the cash is safely stored away in the safe.

A quick look at the shelf reveals that the Conference pears are above a standard price tag which says £1.29. In the next basket along there are bags of Braeburn apples which are marked at £1.45 - buy two for two pounds. Clearly, this woman has made a mistake. I decide that I'm not going to phone her back and kiss her ass and offer a double refund and triple replacement - she's going to be told she's made a mistake and invited back to obtain a refund should she not want the pears.

When I attempt to call her back, the number doesn't work. I could have just given up there and then - but I didn't. I remember that the woman had an Ellenfoot twang to her accent, and tried the phone number with the Ellenfoot area code in front. Ta-da...

"Yes?"

"Oh hello, it's Andrew calling from Fo..."

"Yes, I do have a caller display!" (she's obviously so accustomed to telephoning us, she knows the number by rote)

I contemplate hanging up, but decide against it. "I'm calling back about the pears you bought. I've had a look at the shelf..."

"I can see where you're going with this, you're going to blame me for picking the wrong thing up - again! It's not good enough, you're not looking after your customers here!"

"Well, yes, actually I was going to explain that there is a two for two pounds offer, but it's on Braeburn apples - which are next to the..."

"Well your shelf display is misleading customers, like myself. And, quite frankly, I'm fed up with this. Every time I come in your bloody shop..."

It suddenly dawns on me who this woman is and she's not getting away with it a second time. It's time for me to interrupt her for a change. "Well I have just inspected the shelf, and I can say in complete truthfulness that there isn't anything at all misleading about the way the products are displayed."

"Oh so I'm a liar now, I ought to inform your manager about this..."

"Would you like to speak to him? He's just outside the door now..."

"No, I don't have time for this carry on, my children will be waiting in the rain! I shall be coming back to return these pears to you and I want my money back. I shall find somewhere else to shop in future!" CLUNK!

And I leave the office whistling a merry tune to myself. Does she think I care that she won't be returning? Let Morrison's deal with rabble like her. OK, so we lose the money she spends - but what price can you put on a happier working and shopping environment for all? Actually, it's academic anyways because she threatens never to return every time she misreads shelf labels or finds something minute to complain about - if only she'd stop teasing us with such promises.

Robert
Robert has been getting on peoples' nerves again. Lorraine and myself were in the training room this morning conducting a return-to-work interview on Cleo (who was 'sick' for the umpteenth time) when Robert barged in. The door was closed (a sign on the outside of it says that the room is engaged when the door is closed) so just who did he think he was to burst in?

"I'm sorry Robert, we're in the middle of a private meeting..." Lorraine said politely.

"It's OK, I won't bother you."

"No, Robert - it's personal business..."

He sighed and walked out, but kept knocking on the door every thirty seconds thereafter to see if we were finished yet. By the end, Lorraine was so annoyed and frustrated that I had to escort her to the smoking area to unwind. When we arrived, Mike from the bakery was already there - also unwinding from an encounter with Robert.

"Twat-face would like me to remove the baskets from the bakery shelving and display everything in plastic tubs instead!" He explained through gritted teeth.

Lorraine exploded again. "WHAT? Since when was he anything to do with bakery? And has he not read the Merchandise Showcase book? The baskets have to be used!"

She then used several colourful terms to express her frustrations about Robert - again, I'm too delicate and innocent to even think of repeating them here...