I'm now the laughing stock of Food Place. Allow me to explain.
This morning I woke up feeling really groggy and tired. You know, when you feel as though your body just doesn't want to wake up and all you can think about is crawling back into bed and sleeping. And sleeping. You want to go back to sleep so badly you couldn't care less if you never woke up again.
So, I think I've just about established that I felt tired. Well, as I was leaving the house to walk to work, in a daze of tiredness, I tripped over the doorstep as I came to close the door. I fell forwards, landed on my hands and rolled to the side, promptly going head-first into a large plant pot. God, if my head hurt before, it was caving in with pain now. If I'd have been in any other mood I'd have creased up laughing so badly I would have struggled to get back to my feet. But, as it was, the foul mood I was in got the better of me and I was sat on the front path gritting my teeth with anger. How dare the doorstep trip me up.
You might be wondering how my little accident in the front garden turned me into a laughing stock at Food Place. Well, I pulled myself to feet and stomped off to work. When I arrived, still in a complete strop with myself, as I walked up the first aisle to get to the canteen, I quickly realised I was getting a lot of stunned looks from my colleagues. If you're anything like me, you'll know how irritating it is when people stare at you when you're in a bad mood and want to be left alone.
Eventually: "What? Why is everyone staring at me?"
Lorraine was struggling to hide her giggling. "Go and look in the mirror Andrew."
I felt butterflies in my stomach. Oh my God, what have I done? My foul mood suddenly seemed to evaporate and I was nervously smiling away to myself in anticipation of the view the mirror would yield.
I got into the toilets, took one look and burst out laughing - hysterically. I had soil marks down my cheeks and bits of twig clinging to my hair! By the time I'd composed myself enough to go back into the canteen and face everybody, quite a few people had gathered to survey the damage. Of course, I had to tell them what had happened. Everybody found it riotously funny that I'd fallen arse over face into a plant pot and still had bits of horticulture in my hair and mud-stains to show for it.
I, very briefly, tried to trick them into thinking I was offended by their reaction: "Oh well that's just charming isn't it. I fall over and possibly concuss myself and all you do is laugh. Some friends." It didn't wash though. Still, at least it cheered me up for the morning.